Dear diary,
The holidays so far have been quite good =) my cousins have visited and we have been having many late nights playing computer. But tonight they both fell asleep so its just me which gives me time to write this post. Nobody really comes here anywayz D: its not like im super popular or something )= i don really have many friends but id rather have one best friend than a hundred friends who dont even treat me with proper respect ( yes a lot of ppl from gardens does that to me >.< ). Anyway my birthday is coming up soon and i wonder whats in store for me this year? i don reali want much. i just want to have friends beside me forever and always. :) hey guys from gardens? its not like any one of you guys are gonna read this but seriously some of you shouldn't judge book by its cover. some of you guys started treating me badly even ever since i first arrived. i havent really been seeing some of the blogs of my friends so im suprised that some had quite a lot of post too read :) oh and diary, im gonna find a way to get my friends to read you...maybe they'll understand me more? deep down inside im a very complex person im just so confused and my life has been quite messed up so far i dont know how to fix it anymore =( i mean even in primary i couldnt have any peace? how much harder is life gonna get at this rate? hey diary remember in primary? some of my best friends betrayed me :( they ditched me and went against me D: lifes just so hard all the time. at least i learned to keep the pain inside me hidden from my friends. that way they don get involved in anything. hide the pain, keep a smile, act as if nothing ever happened :) i really gotta find away to get rid of the anger thats forever building up inside of me...

heres the second part, where talk about some secrets. hey diary i know this is a blog and everyone can see but i gotta let them out and tell someone rite? thats why im relying on you to keep it a secret for me kay? ;D thx last saturday i saw her :D ii only see her on some saturday which is the sad thing cuz i don get to see her everyday. i wish we went to the same school or something? but shes a year older than me and probably never really even notices me D: nobody really does anyway. i go around as if im some ghost no one can see or something. sometimes i don even get a 'hi' from some friends. should they even be considered my friends?

anyway the post is really too long but im gonna post more another day. todays post helped a bit, a bit less frustration in my life its feels good to let out some emotion in writing :D